I mentioned in my Changes post that I have been feeling a
calling to apply to Calvin Seminary for a Master’s of Arts in Worship. If you
are interested to know more, here is a more detailed description of what’s been
going on (as I understand it).
Starting with the Past...
Since I was around six years old, music has strongly
connected me to God. I've sung solos in church, led worship in Children's and
other ministries, and composed songs through journaling during daily devotions. I'm
also always loved the Bible, and been more and more drawn to studying it
deeply. I never really considered seminary as a child or teenager, probably
because there was no place for female pastors in my church, but I did decide to
go to a Christian college partly so that I could take some more intense Bible
classes. After coming into more contact with poverty in the developing world
during short-term mission trips as a teenager, I became interested in missions
and development work, and decided to major in engineering, because I loved math
and science and had been told engineering skills were needed in developing
countries.
I ended up at Calvin College, where I also picked up an
interest in Reformed theology (grew up non-denominational), new monasticism,
and the inner city, and went on a slightly engineering-related interim trip to
Cambodia. That was two years ago. I returned from that trip with the feeling
that I was supposed to go back to Cambodia. After graduating, I found a way to
come back through CRWM... and here I am... teaching English, of all things.
Now, in the Present...
Although I still value my engineering education, for various
reasons, I'm not really interested in continuing in that field. Until a few
weeks ago, I was planning to do a program similar to Teach for America,
learning to be an inner-city physics teacher when I got back to the US, to
explore more about the inner city. However, I've suddenly started hearing a
calling away from that and toward studying the Bible/theology and developing my
gifts in leading worship.
While praying recently, God brought to my attention how He
often works when I use the musical gifts He's given me. While I was at Calvin,
I led the music for VBS one summer, and later, in Ada's Friendship ministry. On
Campus my junior year, I shared a song I had written in chapel, and during my
senior year, I was part of a worship team, helping lead chapel and LOFT. Here
in Cambodia, I've participated in the music team in an international church and
led musical worship during chapel services at the Christian school where I'm
teaching English. Through all of these experiences, I've noticed
that when I lead worship, perform songs vocally, or share songs I've written, I
always get a lot of feedback from other believers, saying that God touched
their hearts, or that they were helped to worship in some way. So it seems that
God likes to work through the musical talent that he's given me to edify His
Church.
I want to join in the work that God is already doing, and be
a good steward of the gifts He's given me. One very good option seems to be
Calvin Seminary's Master of Arts in Worship program, which combines and
integrates study of theology and worship. Studying the Bible/theology and
developing my gifts in leading worship are integrated. I strongly believe in
the importance of the Church having good (and well-practiced) theology, and
that the songs (and other art forms) we use in worship can have a really strong
impact on people's theology - and their practice of it. So, in order to lead
worship well, I want to get my theology a bit straighter, and think long and
hard about how to integrate the two.
Thinking about the Future...
1. I've noticed here in Cambodia that most of
the songs sung in Khmer (Cambodian) churches are either: 1) hymns or
contemporary English worship songs translated into Khmer; or 2) Old Khmer tunes
with new Christian words. Now, I love the old hymns and many contemporary
English worship songs, and I think the old Khmer tunes are beautiful. But it
makes me sad to see how few new songs have been written by Khmer Christians.
There are just so many things wrong with that picture.
I've talked with Khmer Christians who feel that they and
others they know would love to write songs, but feel that they lack the musical
skills. So one vision I have is to at some point return to Cambodia and be part
of empowering the Khmer church to sing their own "new songs" to the
Lord - and to share these new songs with the rest of the Church as well.
2. I've also been noticing some theological gaps
in English worship song repertoire (or in mine, at least). For instance,
where are the songs about resurrection? Until I was in college, the only time I
heard about our great hope of the resurrection of our physical bodies, of which
Christ is the first fruits and the Holy Spirit is our deposit
of guarantee, was when reciting the apostle's creed! Or what about songs
that help us understand, imagine, and live into the already-not yet reality of
the Kingdom? What about some songs that aid in scripture memorization for
adults and not just kids?
So another vision I have is to be part of writing some of
the songs that fill those gaps, that help us to really believe and meditate on
the theological and biblical teachings we profess.
3. Finally, I am still very intrigued by the
idea of intentional living, both within a Christian community and as great
neighbors who contribute to the development and hope of their inner-city
neighborhood. And I'm particularly caught on the idea of song-writing
working together with preaching to prophesy the Word of God to such a
community. Or working together with prayer as a powerful form of intercession
for a community.
Most of the songs I've written so far have been written from
my own perspective, as ways for me to worship God and pray to him and meditate
on God's word to me, and they've ministered to me greatly. I've not yet written
a song on behalf of someone else, but I also write poetry, and I have written
poems for other people which seem to have ministered deeply to them. I'd love
to be able to do that with song - for individuals and for a church community.
Thank you for your thoughts and prayers as I continue to
seek God’s direction!
Love from Cambodia,
Amanda
